My little meatatarin.....

So I was in my room, doing a few random crunches on the floor. The Princess was doing some, too, while Side Salad was trying to sit on me. The Squirrel all of a sudden says,

"I wish everything I touched turned to meat! And gold."

.....okay.....

Then, she began running around turning things into meat. "Daddy's TV is meat! The counter is meat! The towel is meat!"

The Princess tried to reason with her little sister. "What if you touch us? Then, we will be meat, too. You can't turn everything into me-"


"You're meat! Look, Mommy! I turned her into meat!" Obviously, the Princess wasn't very convincing in her argument.


She followed me downstairs and patted me on my back. "Mommy, you're meat. I'm just kidding. But everything else is meat, meat, meat!" She bopped off to work some more magic.


"Pencil meat! Yummy yum-yum!"

"Call me on the line, you can call me, call me anytime-Mommy your phone is meat!" That's right. I am rockin' Blondie for my ringtone.

Anywho, the Princess and the Squirrel, as far as I know, have never heard the tale of King Midas. That makes it all the more intriguing that she is touching things and turning them into meat.

Guess I know what tonight's bedtime story is :)

My Birthday

My birthday was Sunday. I am now 27 years old. I took my litttle ones to church. It was lovely. Then we just all spent the day together. My oldest brother gave me some money to buy my own gift. My godmother sent me some money. The kids gave me a card. Lettuce gave me a card and a little table that I can use in bed. I really like it! That night, we went to Wild Wings after the kids went to bed. My mom stayed with them. We got the 25 wings deal where you get five wings of each of five different flavors. I also got a side salad. I decided not to drink since it was already late so I had a tea and he had some beer. The wing flavors we chose were Pollo Loco, honey BBQ, honey mustard, garlic teriyaki, and the hottest of the hot wings. I can't recall what they called them. I loved the garlic teriyaki. They were really good! So I decided to try the hot ones. Here is what happened:

Me: Mmm this is pretty good but it's not really that haaa-, Haaaa-, HAAAAA-! ACK! ACK! GAH! MAH TAMB! MAH TAMB!

I sat there shaking my hands back and forth like Plies the rapper. I probably looked like an ass hat. Lettuce just stared at me, like he does when ever strange things happen to me. It felt like I'd just taken a big swig of some good ol' HCl-hydrochloric acid. My lips and tongue felt like they were about to just fall the eff off! I ate a piece of garlic bread-didn't help, and drank some tea-didn't help. I was so shaken that I couldn't eat another one of those. I took them home and gave them to my mommy.

I should have warned her about the wings. Tsk, tsk.